Horse Show this Weekend

I am looking forward to this weekend as I will  be attending a horse show on Saturday and Sunday at Hilltop Equestrian Center in Waimanalo, Hawaii. It has been years since I've seen a horse show--since I was in my early teens. While, I will not be participating in this event as a competitor, only as a spectator, I am just so thrilled to be back in the horse community.
I rode horses through childhood and into my early teenage years. To say that I have a love of the equine species is a gross understatement. I loved riding, specifically jumping but in high school my life was all-consumed with academics and the performing arts. Not to mention, that I had a pretty bad scare that made me take a break from riding.
For years, I have wanted to go back to riding as just being around horses as the human/horse bond is an incredible one. Finally, I found an amazing trainer and an amazing horse that I am so fortunate to ride. Getting back in the saddle was a bit difficult at first as I really had to work on shaking my nerves--it had been so long. I still get nervous sometimes because horses are horses and just like people, they have good and bad days, but I love the animals and sport so much riding is actually therapeutic for me. I am learning the Dressage style of riding which is all about horse and rider communication. It is truly an amazing discipline. I will write more after the show and definitely have lots of pictures to post.

Back in the Saddle and for the Love of a Bear!!

With the tittle of this blog post, I am speaking both figuratively and literally. It has been a rough couple of weeks. Intially, I had some sort of virus that turned into a sinus infection, tonsilitis, and a double ear infection all at the same time. Talk about a triple threat and not in a good way. As I was starting to get better, I developed an abcess in my mouth. Yeah, how that happened, I will never know. This was a more extreme infection that required another round of antibiotics--this course far stronger than the last. The pain was so bad that it was virtually unbearable. And believe me when I say that I'm no stranger to pain and I have an unbelievably high tolerance for it--I will explain later. Finally once cortizone was added to the mix, I was able to get some relief as   the inflamation started to subside. Now all I have is a tiny lump in my mouth, minus the pain--yay! I had a follow-up this week with my Ear Nose and Throat specialist who said it was healing very nicely so that was good news.

To the average person, my above explaination dosen't sound extreme, just a few uncomfortable maladies to deal with. Throw Type 1 Diabetes (Juvenile Diabetes) in that mix and I found myself in a situation that was virtually impossible to manage. Blood sugar is affected by hundreds of factors from hormones to stress. As a result of the infection and medication, my blood sugars were swinging like a pendulum. My lowest number was a dangerous 29 and my highest number was in the 500's. An average person's blood sugar without diabetes ranges from 70-120. When my sugar is high, I am miserable, cloudy headed, exhaused and unable to function as concentrating is impossible. It's hard to think much less focus when you're above 250. With a sugar reading of 29, I am unable to even place a straw in a juice box, nor can I open a vial of glucose to drink. I am shaking, sweating and my heart is beating faster than I ever thought possible. Recovering from a low takes hours as it is such a shock to the body. Well my husband (Earth Angel) has saved my life on numerous occasions. The past few weeks have been no exception and brutal on both of us...

This blog is kind of all over the place as I am still not feeling 100% and I am having trouble concentrating so please forgive the flight of ideas.

I should explain what Type 1 Diabetes is... Type 1 Diabetes is an autoimmune disease in which the immune system attacks the insulin-producing beta cells in the pancreas, killing them and rendering the patient insulin-dependant for life. Those with Type 1 must test their blood sugar upwards of 15 times per day and must rely on insulin therapy via pump or multiple daily injections as a means of life support. Also known as Juvenile Diabetes, it strikes suddenly, without cause and there is nothing that one who is afflicted with it could have done to prevent it or can do anything to cure it. Only 5-8% of those with diabetes have Type 1. It is typically diagnosed in childhood and adolescence but can strike at any age. Symptoms include sudden and dramatic weight loss, extreme hunger, extreme thirst, excessive urination and exhaustion. If undiagnosed for a couple of weeks one can find themselves in the hospital in Diabetic Ketoacidosis. That is an explaination for another post as I could literally write about Type 1 Diabetes for days and not be able to fully explain the complexity of the illness.

Illness affects sugars pretty dramtically and management has to be done differently so one doesn't wind up in the hospital like I did last summer. I had to be transported by ambulance and that was no fun at all.

Living with the illness is a challenge as the needle sticks and blood checks get pretty old but I am used to it. I had better be, I'm going to be living with this illness until a cure is found.

I was diagnosed six weeks before my wedding and at diagnosis I was about 90lbs. We cancelled our honeymoon to join a research study in Southern California where they dripped an experimental drug into my veins for 10 days. The idea behind the trial was to supress the portion of the immune system that is responsible for attacking the pancreas. The drug had to be administered within 8 weeks of diagnosis as it is said at that point, ones pancreas hasn't been fully destroyed and there are still some functioning beta cells. Scientists are working on a drug to preserve what little is left of of the beta cells in an effort to reduce complications down the road. After my initial dosing, I flew to L.A. once a week to have my blood drawn and be evaluated. The drug made me deathly ill. I had a rash all over my body from a cytokine release and my father and husband had to literally carry me to treatment some mornings. The drug didn't work, but I contributed to an advancement in medical science and I did everything I could to give myself the best option at an attempt of saving my pancreas.

Strangely, those two weeks in L.A. were tough but I had my parents and my husband by my side. We stayed in a Marriott Residence Inn with two bedrooms and living room and a kitchen. Perfect home away from home. It was January and 40 degress at that time and we even had a fireplace. It was very cosy. I had so much familial support and felt so lucky even through my struggles. Now, I truly know the meaning of the saying...It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The fun part was I went to PINK at Victoria's Secret and bought myself comfy pajamas to wear through the entire ordeal. Shopping always makes me feel a little better...

This diagnosis has been a profound experience that has changed my life in unthinkable ways. While a virtually impossible daily challenge and a curse I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, I am beginning to see the silver lining in a disgusting and unmerciful disease that virtually destroyed my life. It destroyed my life for a while, ripped me from a job in the news that I loved. Now there is nothing I can do without testing my blood and taking that into consideration. I haven't slept a full night in four years. I retreated from people and my friends for a long time because I didn't want to have to explain why I was so skinny--I have finally gained all of my weight back. I still cannot comfortably go out to dinner with anyone but the closest people to me and any type of function in which food is involved makes me want to crawl in a hole and disappear. With eating comes constant testing and it's still too new for me to pull out my glucometer and test my blood in front of people and it's also hard to give injections in front of people and it really sucks when people say hurtful things like, "I could never give myself shots. I hate needles." For which I retort back (when I'm not too exhausted), if you wanted to live, you could. Type 1 Diabetes has taught me that the world is a very cold place with ruthless people and it has also taught me that there are wonderful, kind and sensitive people as well. And I found out real fast who my true friends are. It has hardened me but I'm okay with that and I actually view my illness as a badge of honor. Unless one lives with the disease themselves or lives with someone who suffers from it, it is impossible to understand and grasp the varibles and unpredictibility of Type 1 Diabetes. I am afraid now to go to bed as I know I may not wake up but with that I don't take a single minute for granded. The illness is everchanging and I can go from fine one minute to on the verge of having a seizure the next. I am proud to say that I am slowly but surely getting my life back. While I have setbacks every day and will continue to for the rest of my life, I push forward not always because I want to, but because I have to.

Shortly after my diagnosis, I found great solace in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). It was many of the people within the organization who provided me with a sense of comfort. I am an active volunteer and was contracted as an event planner for the JDRF 2011 Walk to Cure Type 1 Diabetes, which was a great success. I have served as a local emcee for the organization and have hosted gala's, organized walks, and golf tournaments for the past three years. I have worked with families and delivered bags of hope to newly diagnosed children in hospitals. I have had parents crying in my arms as I reassure them that everything will be okay. Hard, but okay. And most importantly, I have served as a role model to young girls who were afraid that their friends would no longer like them and who were scared to death of the diagnosis they received. I have fundraised and spoken at may local companies, schools, and organizations educating about the illness. That is my silver lining. Below is a picture of JDRF's Bag of Hope featuring Rufus the bear with Diabetes. This bear is a superstar and has his own glucometer and felt patches on his skin to show where to give shots and test blood. The original Rufus and his friend Ruby rode on the Space Shuttle Atlantis mission STS-112 in 2002.



JDRF Bag of Hope
Photo Courtesy of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation



I had to add my love of jewerly to this post! My ode to Rufus!  Both pieces are vintage and purchased on E-bay. The ring is 20+ years old and was actually a custom made piece for a young girl who outgrew it. Her mother sold it to me and was so touched when I told her why I was purchasing him. You can't see from the photos but the bear is so detailed, he even has CHEEKS!!!! The bracelet is just a strand of six bears and vintage as well. Rufus is my hero and the hero of many others!



Pink Swarovski crystal and rhodium collectable Dior necklace. I never loved bears before Rufus and had to throw his likeness into my jewerly collection.

 

Rufus and Ruby in their space suits equipt with mission patches.
Picture courtesy of Children with Diabetes.

I did not write this post to gain sympathy. I'm just keeping it real and always looking for an opportunity to educate people about Type 1 Diabetes, as it is so rare. Most people think diabetes is diabetes and that is not the case at all. General public knowledge is about Type 2 Diabetes as it has reached epidemic proportions. The two illnesses are as different as chocolate and vanilla. They are diagnosed differently, onset symptoms are different and management is also different, as well as the cause being different as Type 1 is a disease of the immune system.

I talked about getting back in the saddle, which I did. Figuratively, I overcame infections and have finally managed to get my blood sugars back in normal range. For how long, I never know, but I am finally returing to life for the time being...

Literally I was back in the saddle, as I was finally able to horseback ride yesterday.





For more information about Type 1 Diabetes and the JDRF visit http://www.jdrf.org/.

A good kick in the you know what...

I'm very glad that starting a blog was one of the first assignments in my Electronic Journalism class. I created this profile about a month ago and needed a good kick in the butt to get started, so thank you Rachel for being my mandatory motivation.

The trouble I was having with getting started was the fact that I have SO many interests that I didn't really know how to narrow down my topics in an effort to keep people interested. So here goes...

I should probably start by introducing myself. My name is Nicole and I live in Honolulu. I love fashion and have a ridiculous obsession with jewelry, so extreme that have been studying gemology on and off for years through the correspondence program with the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), just for fun. I am in pursuit of my Graduate Gemologist Certification, not that I will ever do anything with it, but ask me about most any gemstone and I can probably give you the answer you're looking for. Strangely, this obession started when I was in the 8th grade. My best friend's mother bought Tracie and I a box of stones and minerals for which we were supposed to do a presentation for our entire 8th grade class. We were to do research on each stone. Seeing the colors and and coming to the profound realization that those rocks actually came from the earth absolutely mesmerized me and I've been hooked on gems ever since. I have since grown up and now I prefer shiny, blingy, large gems set in precious metals as opposed to the tumbled rocks I discovered in my youth--I guess what they say is true, you really do get smarter with age. My husband is not thrilled with the jewelry thing as I always have my eye on something, but he married me so I assume he's either over it or just decided that he's not going to win this one. Maybe he realized my obession is actually a gift to him as he's never at a loss for a present when the holidays and milestone events roll around.

Other things...I am also a self-proclaimed news junkie, I love and ride horses and I probably read more books in a week than most people read in a year. I like everything from fiction to non-fiction, Auto-Biographies, Biographies and even self help-- hey, there's always room for improvement.

Most people are surprized to discover that I am also a total space nerd. I had dreams of going to Space Camp when I was a child and Space Camp is STILL my favorite movie to date. Told you, a total nerd. Yep, in love with NASA and the retired Space Shuttle Program (sniff sniff). Last April, My husband Mike and I travelled to Kennedy Space Center on Florida's Space Coast to see the final launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavour. STS-134 was commanded by Mark Kelly, Representative Gabrielle Giffords husband. That scenerio was to make for an even more spectacular launch experience as most of the nation was following the Arizona congresswoman's progress hoping and praying for her speedy recover. Those following the shuttle program, like myself, prayed that she would be able to make the trip from her rehabilitaion facility just outside of Houston, Texas to see her husband ride his final rocket into space. She did make it, by the way. The whole story is in their book Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope, which I OF COURSE read. (I also love politics) Anyway, Mike and I, by the grace of God, got tickets to watch the launch on NASA's causeway, which is or was, I should say, the closest public viewing area to see the shuttle blast off into space. Those tickets were not easy to get, but it had been my dream. So we booked our tickets for Florida and the first launch attempt was postponed before we even left Honolulu. They set another date and we were off. I have never been so excited in my life. Ever. Two days before launch, we took a tour of Kennedy Space Center and I was in my glory. My profile pic is actually of Mike and I with NASA Astronaut Wendy Lawrence, who spoke at our very touristy " Lunch with an Astronaut" experience. We were given the opportunity to ask questions and having worked in the news, I jumped at the opportunity. I pretty much monopolized the question and answer session and followed-up on everything I wanted to know from all of the years of reading and research that I had done on the shuttle program. I am not the type to be starstruck, but admittedly, I was. Had Brad Pitt been standing next to her, I still would have chosen to have my picture taken with Wendy Lawrence. Finally luanch day was upon us and at T-12 hours we boarded a bus from Orlando bound for Kennedy Space Center. We were on a tour and yes, shockingly, they pick you up THAT early. In our case Endeavour was scheduled to launch at around 3:30pm so we were on the 3:30am bus, but I didn't care. I would have walked the 45 miles to see that puppy go up. We finally arrived at Kennedy Space Center and sat around and made friends from all over the world--all with the same dream as me!! Then we boarded the bus to the causeway to actually view the launch. We set up and had been on that casuseway for 10 minutes (Endeavour looming in all of her glory right in front of me) when NASA officials announced the launch was scrubbed due to a mechanical issue. Scrubbed is NASA talk for cancelled. We boarded the bus for a somber ride back to Orlando. Endeavour finally launched 17 days later on May 16th 2011, but I wasn't there to see it. We couldn't wait and had to return home. It was with a heavy heart that I boarded the plane back to Hawaii. I was hoping to make it back in July 2011 for the fnal launch of the U.S. Shuttle Program, but couldn't travel due to illness. I did track the shuttles on my computer and was able to see them fly over Hawaii. That was absolutely amazing, not nearly as good as an actual launch viewing I imagine, but pretty spectacular in its own right. Sometimes you just have to take what you can get. My lifelong dream of seeing a shuttle launch didn't come to fruition so I guess I have to find a new dream. When I figure out what that is, I'll let you know...

So that was it--MY FIRST POST!!! Hopefully, I'm on the right track...'til next time...